mom, motherhood, pregnancy, third baby

The Bittersweet Trimester

“Mommy your belly is getting big with that baby” is what I hear from my 3-year-old on a regular basis now.

I have officially entered my 3rd trimester and yes my belly is big and you know what,  it feels so good! A big belly makes me feel as though I’m doing something right.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m a list person. I have a list for EVERYTHING in my life and pregnancy isn’t an exception. I get great satisfaction checking things off “said” list and with pregnancy each trimester has a list of its own.

Recently, I had my 28 week appointment for my 3rd pregnancy (Check) and I couldn’t help but feel a little emotional about it all. There is something about the last trimester of pregnancy that is bittersweet. Every four weeks we show-up at appointments (Check) as if they are second nature. You get to hear the heartbeat (Check) and are asked if there is anything you’d like to discuss and then maybe you get an appointment here and there with a sonogram attached (Check). For the most part it’s business as usual.

Then you enter your 3rd trimester and things become a little different. Around week 27 you have to take the dreaded blood glucose test (Check) and hope that the batch of brownies you ate the night before doesn’t set off the test results. Ooops! You’re now starting to have appointments every 2 weeks instead of every 4 weeks (Check). Still when the doctor ask “is there anything you want to discuss?” you swallow your pride and not mention the piercing pain in your vagina, sciatica flare-up or extreme exhaustion because at this point you know there is nothing that can be done, It’s All A Part of the Process. For the most part it is because if this isn’t your first rodeo, you know that the body is crazy and once you delivery that little baby somehow the body corrects these thing….well not the extreme exhaustion.

With all this said, amongst the whirlwind of pregnancy there is a dash of nostalgia that sets in. THIS IS IT. Whether you are certain you are having more children or have made the decision that you are done here in this 3rd trimester with THIS pregnancy you are checking things off the list that may never be experienced again.

Pregnancy is never guaranteed and for most it is scary and often times uncomfortable. When you are blessed with carrying a baby in your belly and actually stop to think what exactly you are doing, it doesn’t have to be scary and can be so comfortable. Personally, I’ve wait my whole life to have babies. When I was younger and people asked “what do you want to be when you grow up?”, I’d always answer A Mom. Now here I am pregnant with my 3rd baby and the thought of closing this chapter makes me anxious. Who am I after this? What will I look forward to after this season of life? Of course there is a lot to look forward to, carrying and delivering is just one piece of the parenting puzzle. But with each pregnancy over and done with you will never get to experience THAT exact moment ever again. And that my friend is bittersweet.

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